Hi God - it's me again - 4 years later!

Hi God - it's me again.

Well -it's 4 years later and I have just read my posts from 4 years ago.   It was very interesting to look back at that time.  I was surprised to see how many answers I had gotten from you.  Thank You so much for that.  Thank you for all you've given me - done for me - and been there with me.  Only You Lord - only You.

Lord I'm in this new house now - and I do love it.  I wish I was better able to take care of it - do the things I want to do and see that needs to be done.  I woke up aching this morning.  I went to rehab (and btw thank You for that too) - but didn't do so good there today.  I didn't do the weights today - but I'll try harder Wed and Thur.

Lord I am still fighting lack of motivation.  I don't know how to make myself be motivated.  I listen to the ladies at church and on facebook and figure I am the least of these.  I want to be on fire for you - and for church.  But rather than Sunday mornings, that about all the motivated I get.  Lord,, I want to be what you want me to be - but I don't know how - or what to do  - or etc.  I do know I've not been in your word like I should.  But even when I am, I still don't feel 'adequate' so to speak.  I'm sure glad you know my heart even when I don't.  Adequate isn't the right word - cause that implies you can be 'good enough' and we know that's not so.  It isn't what I do - but what You did.  Thank You for that.

I had a heart attack, Lord.  And again - You protected me.  I believe I started having that heart attack on a Thursday - and did not go in until Monday.  But You kept me going.  I thank You.  I thank You for the lack of damage to my heart too.   And I thank You for the opportunity to improve at rehab.

I've been planting flowers again, Lord.  Michelle and the girls came and helped me Saturday.  Thank you so for sending them.  We seemed to get a lot done.  At least it felt like it.  I was glad she said she was sore from it - made me feel a little better about being sore.  The girls are growing up so fast.  I was shocked at the difference I saw in them - Hannah and Sarah.  Hannah's losing her 'babyness look' - and looking like a big girl.  It's sort of sad.  And Sarah had a much more mature look about her.  Jessica looked the same - and I was glad.

Lord - please bear with me - help me to find my purpose - and Your will.

Love you Lord,
Just me.....